How Am I Doing

How am I doing? I am alive is all. I still cannot and will not believe Mike is gone. It is too much of a shock for me to take. How do you survive losing a beloved hubby of 23 yrs? Just barely. I go and do things which helps me get my mind off of things but it is not easy. And Christmas is gonna be so sad without him. I am just alive and that is all. I will NEVER fully believe or accept he is gone. Too much of a shock to my system. And sometimes it seems as if he never existed. Maybe he was just a wonderful dream. I would love to have that dream back. I would give anything to have him back even tho I know he is happy in heaven...